Managing Expectations

Wifeys & Gentlemen, 

I apologize for being MIA yesterday, but I’ve been a little sluggish and under the weather this past weekend (heartburn & body fatigue are playing games with me… all day, every day). While I originally had another blog planned for today, some life events have caught my attention and inspired me to shift gears a bit. Today, I’d like to share an important message with you guys that has been weighing on my heart and in my mind. 

How many times have you gotten your feelings hurt or had your heart broken because of your high expectations? Of course, to you, they might not seem that high, but I am pretty sure that most of us have experienced defining moments in our lives where the people we love have seriously let us down, especially when you felt like you needed them the most. This isn’t always intentional. In fact, there may be moments you recall where you were the one to let someone down and had to make amends. Still, as we grow, learn, and change for the better, we begin to understand that although it might sound cynical, the sooner we learn that not everyone’s heart is the same as ours, the less vulnerable we are to the toxic people in our lives. 

If you’re new here, I have already written blogs about toxic friendships and have a few hot takes on varying types of toxic/abusive romantic relationships as well. While I do believe that the word toxic can be overused or weaponized in many cases, it’s important that we know what it means to be surrounded by toxic people. It’s important to know when we are being toxic ourselves. We can all be toxic at some point. We all have our bad days and dark moments. However, it is vital to learn the difference between someone making a one-time mistake and falling short of expectations vs. someone who never intended to meet them in the first place. 

I guess what I am saying is, it’s time to: 

Please don’t misunderstand, I am not trying to change you.

In fact, I want you to continue to be the amazing ball of love and light that you’ve always been. I want you to grow into your magic and shine brighter than you ever thought you could! ✨✨✨

Real talk! If you’re the kind of friend, lover, or family member who would give someone the shirt off your back, great! Do not change. Do not dim your light because others will try to use and abuse it. Instead, what needs to change is your thinking. It’s time to stop assuming that everyone you encounter will do the same for you as you’d do for them.

The hard reality is…they won’t.

It’s time to protect your precious heart, my loves. If you know you’re a mostly good person who tries to do the right thing, learning to stop expecting so much from others keeps you and your sanity safe.

Look, everyone deserves a shot (well, not everyone, but for arguments sake, just go with it 😉). If you welcome lover, friends, family, etc with open arms, don’t stop doing that. However, I urge you to stop ignoring the red flags. I urge you to be more protective of your energy and your peace. 

Remember: when people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time. 

This doesn’t mean that fights or rough patches won’t ever happen or that someone isn’t allowed to make a mistake from time to time; but how do they grow from it? How do they respond when confronted with these behaviors? Is there a pattern being established? Will they show up for you when it really means the most? Can you trust them completely?

I know I say this a lot, but 2020 is a time for a true emergence of self; I believe that whole heartedly. If you know deep down that you’re accepting things or settling for a person that isn’t making you happy or fulfilled, it’s time to let go of the shame and walk in your purpose. 

Believe me, I know firsthand how hard it is to walk away from people who are draining you. Most of the time, we want to make excuses for them. 

“She’s going through a hard time right now.” 

He’s struggling to cope”. 

“If I leave him, he’ll have nowhere else to go”.

We’ve been friends for 20 years”. 

I get it. I do. As with all things, consider very carefully before making any choices. Ask yourself the hard questions and understand your position. Will your life be better if you walk away? Better if you stay? Can these issues be resolved or forgiven?

Deep down, you know what’s right. If you’re now realizing that you keep giving your loyalty to someone who can’t even give you honesty, respect, or time; it’s time to let it go.

Let It Go GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Easier said than done, yes.

But, as I’ve also said a million times, the changes begin and end with Y.O.U. 

Feel me? 

Until next time, 

Carry on wifeys & gents! 

Love,

Fear not! I’ve got a podcast, a couple videos, a new blog, and photoshoot coming your way sooner than you think! Let me just get a quick nap in, ok? 😉

You can still be a lamb and tell your friends. 🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…

Or you know…just be sure to subscribe yourself! I love you and I’d miss you if you never come back! 😢

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