Wifeys & Gentlemen,
It’s been a while since I’ve come to you on a Sunday, but this week has been a doozie! No lie, I started writing this piece on Thursday evening and it is only now, up late on a Saturday night, that I am able to get it finished.
If you listened to Tuesday’s podcast, you might recall that Mr.B went on a little trip to unwind with his besties. While I am SO HAPPY he finally took some time for himself (he needed it), playing single, working mama for the past few days has been a real shock to system.
Sure, I knew it wouldn’t be super simple.
But, deadass I did not know it would be so friggin challenging, fam!
BIG shoutout to single parents. For real.
You guys make miracles happen.
I am struggling to keep my shit together for five little days!
Kudos to ya’ll for holding it down for a lifetime.
You deserve all the things. Period.
Full transparency, I don’t think that I’d feel as drained if it wasn’t for evil hormones coursing through my veins, messing with my chill. Yes, it’s “that time” of the month and I am literally DRAGGING my exhausted ass through life at the moment.
I hope it doesn’t sound like I am throwing myself a pity party or complaining too much. Heaven knows I love my daughter and I’ve really enjoyed our 1:1 time together. This 9-12 month period has been one of my favorites thus far.
My girl is so funny and sweet that I want to burst. She is so grown up and I both want to see her keep growing and slow time down.
In between the exhaustions we’ve taken walks, gone swimming, had cuddles, played with stuffed elephants, and watched ALOT of Cocomelon (don’t shame/judge me…she loves it!).
But it isn’t all fun and games. Right now she enjoys spitting out her food and throwing her bottles, she doesn’t want to take naps for longer than 30-40 minutes (she’s not fun when she’s tired), she’s extremely clingy, and she is by far the moodiest of Judys!
She doesn’t sit still to get her diaper or clothes changed and she wants to touch/eat/break everything we own.
The list goes on and it’s starting to wear me out. 😩
Childcare duties aside…
I’ve started to notice a certain vibe that has settled over me in the last week. I had a long, tough week at work and I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts.
I realized that I’ve been allowing outside elements to influence my energy. I’ve been giving into the dark side; getting stuck in the nonsense and drama of others without taking very good care of myself.
This definitely has to stop. Now.
I talk a lot about self-care on this blog and today is no different! I am recently learning that one way we can make a commitment to self-care is remembering to protect our peace.
For those who aren’t familiar, protecting your peace is about cultivating your space in a way that is positive, useful, and in service of your personal growth. It is about prioritizing a healthy state of mind, allowing you to be your best self and build meaningful connections with others.
I decided to start building a list of things that make me feel peaceful and at ease. What environment is most calming and comforting to me? When do I feel least anxious? When am I most confident and self-assured?
Of course, I highly recommend that you all do this as well, especially if you are feeling like you’re not protecting yourself effectively.
Below, I’ve included some examples I’ve been thinking about during my reflections.
While these things might seem minor initially, you’d be surprised how difficult they can be to start and maintain. However, I suspect that as we learn to make this kind of self-preservation normal in our lives, it gets easier; it becomes second nature.
Protecting you peace looks like…
- Saying “no” when you don’t want to do something — no explanation needed.
- Not Arguing with people. — if the conversation can’t be constructive, remove yourself.
- Listening to your intuition. — you are the expert on what you want/need.
- Nourishing yourself. — drink water, eat well, move, sleep, unwind, indulge, cleanse…etc.
- Checking your negative thoughts. — interrupt them with positive ones.
- Not Accepting/Excusing bad or toxic behavior. — even from people you love.
- Never allowing family or friends to judge you or steal your joy.
- Avoiding “fixing” others or taking responsibility for their emotions.
- Vowing to stop apologizing for no reason. — women, especially are guilty of this one.
- Being present and grateful for your blessings.– never comparing yourself to others
- Never betraying your values to be accepted by others.
- Living in the moment. — not focusing on your past mistakes and things you cannot change.
- Affirming your dreams, desires, and goals.
- Setting and maintaining boundaries.
- Reaching out to others when you need them.
- Walking away from people, places, and things that do not serve you or mean you good.
Naturally, this isn’t an exhaustive list (I say that every week, don’t I?). A quickie Google search will net you dozens of articles that tackle many of these concepts in greater depth. You might also find some alternative methods that better suite your needs.
I admit, I am not great at many of these things.
I’m a novice when it comes to figuring myself out.
But as I hit my mid-30s and start being more honest with myself, I realize that I care less and less about what people think of me; I like myself. I deserve good things. I am enough as I am.
Protecting my peace is another stop on the quest to be a whole, happy human.
Let me know what you do to protect your peace in the comments. What can we add to this list?!
Come back next week for more articles, videos, and a new podcast episode! I’ve got a new video that should be going up next weekend!
Don’t miss it.
In fact, go ahead and subscribe! You’ll get reminders and never miss out on any new uploads! 😉
Until next time,
Carry on wifeys & gents!
Be a lamb and tell your friends….🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…