Wifeys + Gentlemen,

If you aren’t currently listening to IDD, the podcast:

First of all, why not? It’s a fun time and we talk a lot of crap! Give it a shot, will ya?

Second, you likely do not know that this season of Temptation Island has me deep in my feelings! I am angry and annoyed most of the time, but there are some great, teachable moments in this program that I believe are worth calling attention to.

Love is a complicated and beautiful concept.

I truly believe in it. It is my wish for everyone (who wants to) to experience it in its many, amazing forms.

We often find ourselves tangled in its web, experiencing different levels and stages as we navigate the intricacies of relationships. If there is one thing for certain, the couples who come to Temptation Island are (mostly) young and self-absorbed. I know that might sound harsh, but I don’t view it as an insult.

Many of them are in a place in their lives where they are figuring shit out. This stage of life is about learning who you are and what you want. Still, it’s hard to watch as many of them make desperate plays for a type of love that isn’t real or sustainable.

Today, I’d like to dive into the notion of “immature love” and explore the transformative power of what it can mean when it matures.

Immature love, like a summer fling, is often marked by intense emotions, fiery passion, and a sense of euphoria. It’s that exhilarating feeling of “free falling” into the arms of another person, where everything seems perfect and effortless. There is hormones, dopamine, and pure joy. But beneath the surface, immature love lacks the depth and substance required for lasting connection. It’s driven by selfish desires, instant gratification, and a focus on fulfilling one’s own needs rather than nurturing a healthy partnership.

Immature love thinks that jealousy is a form of passion and intimacy.

Immature love constantly wants to feel chased and pursued.

Immature love is driven by ego.

Please don’t misunderstand. All love usually has an immature stage. Regardless of age or circumstance, who can resist the immense pleasure of falling for someone new. Everything is perfect and feels “right”. You should bask in that stage of your relationship.

It’s important and fun and chaotic and amazing!

In stark contrast, mature love is a conscious choice and a series of deliberate actions. It’s an ongoing commitment to growth, understanding, and shared values. Mature love is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and open communication. It requires effort, patience, and a willingness to navigate the ebbs and flows of life together. This type of love is not about the intense infatuation of the initial stages but rather about the profound connection that develops over time. One beautiful aspect of mature love is its uniqueness for each couple.

It’s not a one-size-fits-all equation but rather a personalized journey that unfolds based on the individuals involved.

The dynamics, expressions, and needs within a mature love relationship can vary greatly, reflecting the authenticity and compatibility of the partners involved. It’s about embracing and celebrating the quirks, strengths, and vulnerabilities of each person, creating a safe space for growth and self-expression.

One thing I believe we all fail to realize is how much mature love requires individual work. It requires self-reflection, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal development. It’s about acknowledging our own flaws, vulnerabilities, and areas for improvement while also encouraging and supporting our partners in their own journeys. Mature love allows us to create a safe space for growth, understanding that true happiness and fulfillment come from mutual support, compassion, and the shared experience of overcoming challenges.

As we continue to watch the drama of this show unfold (or really any reality show like this), let us try to remember that even though the tea is HOT! The infatuation is just the tip of the iceberg.

Art and media are wonderful and can really help shape and define our culture. However, it is important to remember that life goes on after the camera goes off. Many times the fairytale romance takes a lot of work behind the scenes. Sometimes, the love doesn’t last.

As we reflect on the transformative power of mature love, let’s embrace the understanding that it is a choice, an action, and a journey. It requires us to move beyond the allure of infatuation and dive deep into the realms of vulnerability, authenticity, and growth. Remember, love is not just a feeling but a conscious decision to nurture and uplift one another. It is a bond that withstands the test of time, evolving and flourishing through the choices we make every day.

Just some thoughts on my head-top this week.

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys + gents!

Love,

Remember you are love and you are loved.

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