Your Love Language: Part One


Wifey’s & Gentlemen,

Today I woke up feeling inspired! Sometimes, I truly surprise myself with what I can accomplish and/or how I can manipulate my mind into happiness by something as simple as a positive attitude, even if it begins as “fake” or feels initially forced.

My week has been, admittedly, less than stellar. I’ve had a weird cold & case of hay fever, I’ve been exhausted from projects at work, and I feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to complete all of the items on my “To Do” list  to their best and most efficient capacity. 

Last night, after some teeth grinding, hair pulling, kicking, screaming, and a few fits of ragony (that’s rage and agony combined, if you didn’t know 😉 !), I was finally able to get my hair redone with a stylist that, while not without her flaws, is actually pretty wonderful. For those of you who haven’t met me, this might come as a shock, but people find me strangely easy to open up to (*cue dramatic trumpet music*). I don’t say that to be vain or toot my own horn, but as a ‘pending’ mental health professional, this is a personal quality that I take a lot of pride in. Last night, during our 4th appointment in her quiet apartment-building, my lovely stylist (we’ll call her Lissy), opened up to me about her struggles with love (yes Wifeys, I was JUST as surprised as you).

I was elated to listen to her perspective (no, not because of the struggles, geeze!); a 38 year old, single-mother who has been in an on again off again relationship with the same man for more than 10 years. Recently, as dear Lissy was recounting to me some tales of their adventures, she came to the realization that she is spoiled, jaded, and terrified of commitment. She felt that their “problems” (I hate that word) and “ups and downs” were a direct result of her worldview and while she was trying, she didn’t always know how to make her partner understand her.  Now don’t get it twisted, Lissy’s man (from what I hear) was not without his own fun set of flaws and negative qualities, but over the course of our time together, what I gathered from her out pour of expression and emotion is that she and her partner communicate and show love in two very different ways.

Surprisingly (or not so if you have ever had an extended, relationship-oriented conversation with me), this notion made me realize that, in this esteemed month of February (since February is for lovers after-all) we have not yet talked about one of the most important and fun aspects of relationship navigation: love languages! 

Don’t be mad at my random segue-way! If you’re curious about Lissy and her story, I promise that next week I will be revealing more information about our conversation and how it applies to this post.

However…today… I thought it would be fun if we all tried an experiment together. Let’s figure out our love languages!! 

Come on! You know you want to! Don’t give me that look. Just grab something to write with and a piece of paper and let’s test this out!

For anyone who does not know, each person has a certain way that they express their love for others which directly relates to the ways in which we expect love to be expressed to us. There is a tone of research out there and lots of literature and information about how to understand and interpret this often forgotten aspect of love. Fascinating right? I know! Regardless of your true level of interest or awareness, there is something very significant that needs to be unpacked here, and I promise if you go with me on this, it’ll all come together. Have I ever let you down before? Maaaybe don’t answer that! 

Today, or over the course of the next week, review the questionnaire to reveal where you are in the context of the primary list of 5 love languages. What you’ll need to do is take the quiz (it’s only about 10 minutes) and then tally up how many A’s, B’s, C’s, D’s, and E’s you receive. In my next post, we will discuss the different love languages, what they mean, and how you can use them to strengthen your romantic relationships and/or your ability to connect with others. I promise, I’ll speak more about the ‘All-Inspiring-Lissy’, who made some pretty interesting connections & realizations of her own.

Lissy sent me home last night looking beautiful, feeling energized, and making me determined to wake up and make today as productive as humanly possible. In a weird way, she reminded me of my own style of love & expression, one that I am happy I get to share with you at least once a week (hint, hint) ;-).

So far, my Friday has been pretty on point! & I sincerely, wish the same for you.

Ps. Follow the links below to get to the quiz (they are too complicated to post here directly). One link is for those who are single and the other is for those who are currently in a relationship. Feel free to get your partner in on the good times as well!

Until Next Week,

Carry on Wifeys


Ms. Renai

🙂 ❤


Coupled Up

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