Wifeys & Gentlemen,
Happy Father’s Day!
I’m a day late and a dollar short on this one, but we’re going to pretend like today is Sunday and I got this post up exactly, 100% on time, k?
No matter how you choose to celebrate or ignore these “Hallmark Holidays”, I’d like to think that each and every one of us knows a good father who works hard and deserves a little extra recognition today, right? I know that for many of us, holidays like this are hard. Maybe you recently lost your father? Maybe you grew up without one? Maybe you have a toxic relationship with your father? Maybe you’re frustrated because the journey to becoming a father has been long and tedious? Still, think about all of the friends and family you DO have in your life. Are any of them fathers or father figures that you can celebrate? Nothing cures the blues like doing nice things for the people we love.
Personally, I believe I have a great relationship with my dad. We do not chat on a daily basis, but I consider him to be one of my dearest friends and I value our conversations and the time we get to spend together. I had a bit of a laugh last night trying to think of what it might have been like if my dad was forced to raise me and my brother by himself. How different would we be? Today, I want to pay my respects to all the dads out there by giving you fine people the REALITEA 😉 on why a dating single dad is the hottest thing you can do this summer!
All jokes aside, there are tons of reasons why dating a single dad isn’t as daunting of a decision as you might have thought. Let’s Discuss:
They are more likely to take things slow: Single dads (and single parents in general) are usually not interested in bringing someone into their lives too fast or too soon. They have children to consider. Single dads want to take their time and get to know you on a deeper level before taking these more serious steps. Relax! This is a good thing and will allow your connection to grow at the right pace.
They are more responsible (usually): No matter the level of custody, a good, single dad is going to show responsibility and respect when it comes to time, finances, and actions. Sure, there are some single dads out there that aren’t worth a damn (gotta watch out for those red flags). However, the dads who meet their financial obligations, are really engaged with their children and know what’s going on in their kids’ lives, have a positive co-parenting relationship with their ex, and own their part in their life trajectory are GOALS! Hang on to a dad like that.
They are great (or at least better) listeners: Parenting isn’t easy, friends! Not only do you have to listen to your kids, but you have to listen to and communicate with co-parents, teachers, nannies, doctors, etc to make sure your child is at their absolute best. Single dads don’t shy away from important conversations and are more likely to really hear you when you have something on your mind.
They are nurturing and sensitive: Of course, all people are capable of this regardless of their gender identity or parental status, but single dads are often forced to play a sensitive and nurturing role for their kids, especially if they are responsible for them full time. Single dads get to practice these skills on a consistent basis; it shows!
You can see how they are as parents: This one is a no brainer! Once you are introduced to the children and become a bigger part of single dad’s life, you’ll get to see what they are like as parents and how they might support your family in the future.
They have a greater propensity for emotional maturity: Having kids means there is less time for petty drama or immaturity. A single dad is a leader and role model for his children and this means being the bigger person 99.9% of the time (we all have our off moments). They are more in tune with their feelings because they understand the way being a father has challenged and changed their perspective on their emotional identity.
They know how to put others first: Kids comes first when you’re a parent. Many single dads also let this concept translate to other important people in their lives. Essentially, they know when it’s “your turn” and are good at letting some moments be about you when necessary. They consider your needs without as much effort.
They know how to prioritize and make the best use of their time: Single dads are on a schedule, regardless of the level of custody they have. While some might have more free time to date or travel than others, believe that a single dad is going to value his time and know how to maximize it.
They demonstrate leadership and decision-making skills: Dads are heroes to their kids. They are faced with tons of decisions that have a real impact on the lives of others; this comes in handy in a relationship as well, especially if you’re looking for the kind of lover that takes charge and leads your relationship at the helm.
They are more likely to be looking for the “real thing”: Single parents do not have time to play around. The last thing most of them want to do is bring a new person into their child’s life that is going to disappear down the line. While no one can predict the future, a single dad is going to want to make sure the love is real and the connection is genuine before they take big steps. When they do, the decision is careful and deliberate and they are putting a lot on the line; this means that they are interested in longevity and real commitment (when the time is right).
So now you’re sold, right? Well before you get to ahead of yourself, check out these quick tips on dating a single dad. Thank me later, nbd 😉
Tips for Dating and Loving a Single Dad:
Wifeys and Gents, please remember that single dads already have at least one “number 1” girl or boy in their lives. Use these tips in you’re trying to snag that 2nd place spot!
- Be Supportive — listen to your partner and allow them to talk about their kids or ex-relationships. Don’t get frustrated if a single dad has to cancel plans last minute or leave a date early. Your support means the world to them.
- Be Patient — single dads are usually going to want to take it slow. Don’t pressure or rush them into making a commitment or letting you meet their kids. Don’t be selfish.
- Lend a Hand when Possible — when you’re actively involved in his life, make sure you offer to help out from time to time. Cook dinner for dad and the kids or grab a package from UPS. It seems small to you, but HUGE to him.
- Never make them choose — you’re a bad person if you ask someone to choose between your relationship and their kid(s). Period.
- Respect the Ex — in time, the single dad will let you know how and why that relationship ended. If you’re dating a single dad with a co-parent or ex who is a part of the kids lives/involved in making decisions for the kids, be respectful. YOU ARE MAKING THEIR LIVES HARDER WHEN YOU TRY TO BE THE ALPHA OR OVERSTEP HIS BOUNDARIES.
- Remember he isn’t just “daddy” — when they aren’t with the kids, remind them of who they are outside of parenting. Single dads are individuals with dreams, hobbies, and interests that were around long before they became dads. Be the one who let’s them escape into themselves from time to time.
- Give and take space whenever necessary — blended families and relationships are not easy. Sometimes you might feel overwhelmed and need some space; Take it! Sometimes the kids or dad might be overwhelmed and need some space; Give it! & do so with an open mind and gracious heart.
- Be honest with yourself and your partner — ask yourself if possibly being a step parent to someone else’s child(ren) is right for you. It is so hurtful to get involved with a single dad and their kids only to change your mind once things get real. If you find that the commitment is too much to handle, be honest with yourself and with your partner before things escalate too quickly.
Of course, every relationship has their pros and cons. While there are many hardships and downsides to dating a single parent, I believe that the stigma that comes with it is inaccurate and unnecessary. Anything can be amazing if you’re willing to do the work. If you already know that dating a single dad/parent isn’t for you, that’s fine too! But I would encourage everyone whose looking for love to consider a single father; the benefits can be greater than you ever thought possible.
Does anyone out there have a story about dating a single dad? Be sure to let me know in the comments.
Until Next Time
Carry On Wifeys & Gents!
Be a lamb and tell your friends…