Wifeys & Gentlemen,
As promised, here is the 2nd part of my thoughts on Mrs. Curry RTT comments.
If you’ll recall from the last post, I pointed out that while I did think her sentiments could be seen as problematic for a loving, successful marriage, I also expressed that much of what she said was taken out of context and blown out of proportion.
Here are my final thoughts:
We need to give people the benefit of the doubt, acknowledge what IS working well, and see what we can learn.
If Steph & Ayesha’s marriage was rocky, phony, or riddled with problems then I believe she would not have felt empowered to be vulnerable in that way on RTT. She said what she said knowing that Steph would hear her and I believe we can assume this is a conversation that has been had before.
Let’s give Ayesha the benefit of the doubt, shall we? We all know that she was NOT trying to disrespect her husband or make him feel like the love he gives her is inadequate. Perhaps it was something he needed to hear and was happy to hear? Perhaps this is one of the things in their marriage that they spent time working through already? If you watch the episode, many of the women expressed feeling the same way at some point in their relationships. Can we really drag her or call her ungrateful if this is a common experience for those of us lucky enough to land a celebrity spouse?
Marriage is a long and ever-changing journey. It cannot, will not, and should not look the same after 5, 10, 20, or 50 years.
Clearly something between that couple is working. Clearly something between them is magical. Instead of trying to find fault because we wish we had what they have, let’s learn from them! Let’s listen to what is working in their marriage to make it so strong. Let’s do our best to push our own relationships forward in similar, positive ways.
How many of us are willing to tell our partners about our petty insecurities? How many of us are willing to be brave and vulnerable to our partners and friends?
Respect her position and if you disagree, offer words of healing and encouragement for those of us who might feel similarly and want to work through it.
If nothing else, I want you all to take away a few key things…
Long term relationships require you to have both a PERSONAL identity and a COUPLE identity.
It takes a LOT of hard work and self-love to find out who you are in a regular-degular situation. Sure, Ayesha has a career and things she does outside of Steph, but can you imagine how much harder it must be to have an identity when you’re most known for being Steph Curry’s wife?
REMEMBER: Even the most perfect, loving, & wonderful partner can’t complete you or save you from yourself.
Finding true love is NOT the cure all for every trauma and insecurity you’re holding on to. In fact, real love; the kind of love that really lasts, exacerbates the demons! Do not turn your nose up at Ayesha and throw unrealistic expectations onto her because of what you think you would be like in her shoes. Remember that we all have our bullshit to deal with. Do not waste your time judging others or tearing others down to mask your own pain.
I wanted to save this for the end, but I must admit, I am actually NOT a fan of Ayesha Curry. I do not like the way she has been harsh and judgmental about other women in the past; criticizing “hoe” behavior and putting herself on a pedestal for dressing or behaving more modestly than some others. While she didn’t deserve all the backlash she got from the show, I hope she has also learned not to be so high and mighty. It’s an act.
She just took a HUGE step in admitting that she has more than her own share of insecurities and I hope she thinks about this moment before making any future commentary about the various ways other women use to try to feel good about themselves.
I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!
Did you think that what she said was an issue? Did you understand or relate to her experiences? How would you feel if your partner said something like this to you? For my male readers, do you think this goes both ways regardless of gender and sexuality? Please let me know what you think!
Until Next Time,
Carry On Wifeys & Gents!
Be a lamb and tell your friends…