Wifeys & Gentlemen,
When was the last time you sat down and really talked with your partner? Of course, if you’re anything like me, you talk to your partner every day! You say good morning, you ask how each other’s day was, you exchange funny stories or update each other on friends and family. But when was the last time you really talked? When was the last time you sat down and had a stress-free, no pressure conversation about your relationship?
For many of you, you might be realizing that it’s been a long while! Too long! Furthermore, some of you might be coming around to the fact that you’ve never really sat down and had a dedicated, meaningful, relationship – focused convo at all.
Don’t worry! Mrs. Renai always has your back! 😉
Today, I give you the Quickie Couple Check-in. This check in can be done on a weekly or biweekly basis as a chance for you and your partner to connect about your relationship and make sure you’re consistently on the same page.
Fair warning, this might seem kind of cheesy at first. Having these kind of talks can feel awkward the first couple times around, especially if you’ve got a partner that is weird about intimacy or vulnerability. It might feel like pulling teeth to get them to see the value in this, but with practice and time, it becomes enjoyable and worthwhile.
In my opinion, this is all the more reason to give it a shot!
Hear me out…
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, eventually things start to become comfortable and routine. That is a good thing! However, sometimes when we get comfortable, we forget to reflect on and re-learn from each other. We forget that we’re dating a living, breathing, human-being with thoughts and feelings that might be completely separate from our own.
The Quickie Couple Check-In is a fast, easy (& hopefully fun) way for you and your partner to catch up on each other and get clear on your immediate feelings.
If you’re lost, here are a list of a few questions to get you started.
Note: You’re welcome to add to, change, or remove any questions that don’t fit well with your relationship. I’d caution you to limit this quickie check in to no more than 3-5 questions at a time. Tackle the most important stuff now and change it up for the following week.
- What’s something I did this week that made you feel loved and appreciated?
- What are some things you really enjoyed this week? (ie: what made you feel successful, proud, happy, accomplished, smart, etc…)
- What was one thing that was really disappointing or challenging this week? (can name more than one thing if necessary)
- On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate our sex life this week? What can we do to make this better next week?
- On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate or emotional connection this week? What can we do to make this better next week?
- What is one area you think I can work on going into next week?
- What can I do to make you feel supported this week? Is there anything important coming up for you?
- Did I do anything to hurt you or make you feel bad this week?
- Is there anything I did this week that you’d like to see continue?
- Express gratitude – what are your especially grateful for this week? What is something about your partner you are grateful for this week?
You can also use this check in time to chat about any of the couple goals you set for the year. You can definitely talk about your progress and any changes you might need to make.
Additionally, this is a great time to practice your active listening skills. Pour a couple glasses of wine, get cozy on the couch, and make this a part of your weekly routine. Remember that you are:
– Improving your communication
– Strengthening your intimacy
– Establishing couple rituals/routines
– Understanding & stating your needs
What questions would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments! Also, please let me know if you end up trying this out! I’d love to hear how it goes.
Later this week, I’m going to share some examples of a more in-depth couple check in; one that long-term couples should try to do at least 1-2 times per year.
I can’t wait to share it with you!
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Until next time,
Carry on wifeys & gents!