Wifeys & Gentlemen,
It’s FINALLY Friday and I am so relieved to have survived the week! Is it just me or do long weekends often make the “short” weeks seem agonizingly slow?
Contrary to how it might sound, I don’t actually hate my job and these days my weekends aren’t even all that restful. Still, who wants to be stuck at work when there are blogs to write and podcasts to record? (or whatever normal people do in their free time, haha)
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of spending some family-friendly fun time with my besties. 3 out of 4 of us have kids, 2 out of 4 of us are married, and we even threw a new couple into the mix for some awesome variety! It was such a fun afternoon and I am always sure to thank my lucky stars that I have a friend group that gets along so well.
With couples, it isn’t always easy. While we are always bombarded with images of “perfect” or ideal couples, we often forget just how freakin cringe some of us can really be!
You know the couples I’m talkin about! In fact, I’d wager to guess that at some point in your life, you’ve been a part of one.
These are those couples that everyone avoids. The ones that you don’t want to invite to game night or out to dinner because you just don’t want to have to watch them be together all night. They either make you extremely uncomfortable, sad, or nauseated.
Well, try not to take me (or yourself) too seriously until you reach the end, ok?
Here are my…
Top 10 CRINGIEST types of couples (in no particular order):
The Ones Who Always Fight
These couples bring drama and stress whenever they’re around. They are eerily good at sucking the fun and happiness out of any room and have no qualms about dragging you down with them.
Be warned, this couple might get you thrown out of a bar or nightclub with their antics. Worst of all, they are notorious for trying to force their friends to take sides in their petty f*ckery.
DON’T FALL FOR IT. DON’T GET SUCKED IN. STAY WOKE.
While there isn’t really much you can do to stop it or “fix” them, try having an honest conversation with this pair about boundaries and what makes you uncomfortable. If their fights escalate or continue to disrupt the vibes, stop inviting them to hang out; they’ll get the message.
It’s fine for couples to argue. Honestly, if their “fighting” is usually harmless or annoying banter, I’d say you don’t have too much to worry about. Draw your boundaries but know that some couples just bicker a lot; this doesn’t make them incompatible or toxic.
Please remember to not let yourself get sucked into negative energy.
The Ones Who Overshare
Look, I am a proud gossip! I love to sip tea, spill tea, and occasionally create a little tea of my own. BUT, there are some things that should just be between a couple and that’s that.
We all do it; talk to our best friends or siblings about our sex lives, ask for relationship advice, or vent about our problems, but there is a line and this cringe-couple can’t help but cross it.
This couple has a need to go into excruciating detail about their eating habits, hygienic tendencies, fetishes, bowel movements, secret phobias, SSNs, and blood types in casual conversation. Basically, they provide information that only a doctor or therapist would need.
It’s weird, it’s impolite, and it can be kind of gross. If you otherwise enjoy this couple then it’s best to be honest about what gets dished and what stays private. You don’t have to make them feel bad, just do your best to redirect the convo if something comes up that might ruin your mood…or your appetite.
The Ones Who Backstab
Similar to the couple that argues, this cringe-worthy-couple, while having the decency to keep their arguments private, still manage to involve the rest of the crew.
These are the ones who badmouth each other at every turn. During a get-together, you may notice that they don’t interact with each other much. Instead, they’re giving an ear full to their friends about the latest, terrible thing their partner did (or didn’t do).
It is normal to need to vent from time to time about our loved ones. Partners, friends, children, and parents can all get on our last nerve and having someone listen to us can be a HUGE stress relief. However, if this couple has reached a point where you wonder if they even like each other anymore, if you can’t remember the last time one of them said something positive about the other, and they are regularly asking you to take sides in their private disagreements…run.
Or at least take some space. While this couple might not be on the verge of a breakup, they at least need to learn to deal with their problems together instead of talking crap behind each other’s backs.
The Ones Who Never Separate
Everyone talks about the honeymoon phase in a relationship. This, of course, is when a new couple can’t seem to get enough of each other, spending all their time together.
While the savvy wifeys & gents know that “honeymoon” phases ebb and flow, some couples believe that stage should never end.
This isn’t always a “bad” thing, per say. I, for one, am always happy when I see couples who, even after many years together, haven’t lost their little spark.
Still, this cringe couple seems to be overly codependent. One never goes anywhere without the other. If you do manage to get them alone, they are always on their phones texting or chatting with their partner, unable to focus on anything else. They talk about each other constantly and never seem to stop saying “we” even when they should (at least occasionally) say “I”.
This couple doesn’t see a problem with always being together and never seem to make plans that don’t include both of them.
For everyone else, this behavior might seem a little unhealthy. While it is never our place to judge someone else’s relationship, often times this couple needs one of two things:
- a chance to get tired of each other or
- a reminder that it’s good to miss each other from time to time
9 times out of 10, this couple will eventually see the light and starting finding a balance. I find that, comparatively speaking, this couple is often easier to tolerate than some of the others on this list, but they definitely deserve a spot!
The Ones Who Should Just Breakup Already
We are always surrounded by couples these days, right? Or at least that’s what it feels like! Some of these couples are ones you look up to; the kind that make you believe that real love is still out there. They make you hopeful, comfortable, and proud.
Well…this cringe-couple is the complete opposite of that.
They always seem unhappy, even when spending time apart.
They constantly bicker or nag each other about petty things.
This couple hardly ever smiles.
They don’t make plans for the future.
In fact, they don’t really seem to enjoy each other at all.
And while no one else seems to understand it, they decide to stay together.
The worst thing about this couple? They always TALK ABOUT breaking up. They ask you and your friends for advice on a weekly basis (at least). Still, no matter how many times you gently tell them that it’s time to call it quits, they never, ever do.
They carry on complaining and you carry on suffering in their unrelenting sadness.
This is one of the worst types of couples because there isn’t much of an escape. You can try to set boundaries or avoid them, but they somehow always find you….
Instead of making this blog a 30 minute read, I am going to stop here and ask you to drop by next week for part two!
I hope you all know that I write these types of posts for fun and mean absolutely no harm in what I’m saying. On the flip side:
Let’s remember that it’s never that deep, ya’ll! I have done a LOT of these things in past relationships and I KNOW I’ve pissed off a few friends in my day.
Let’s try to laugh about it while also learning from our mistakes!
What do you think my next five should be? Please leave a comment and let me know what types of couples make you cringe! Have you ever been a part of one of these couples?
Until next time,
Carry on wifeys & gents!
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Be a lamb and tell your friends…