Wifeys & Gentlemen,
Happy Friday! Is it me or did this week fly by at hyper-speed? I’m not complaining, just really surprised that it’s Friday already!
Of course, this week’s blog needs no big, deep introduction.
Welcome to part II of my top 10 most cringe-worthy couples.
I was a little surprised to learn that last week’s blog struck a nerve with a few of my readers. 😉
Remember that this is all in fun and I am in no way judging you if you happen to be part of an annoying, cringey couple!
If you’re happy and in love, screw the haters! (myself included)
We are all about being ourselves in this space.
Be proud of who and what you are, ok?! 👍🏾 😀
The Ones Who Rush In (Foolishly)
This couple is usually pretty adorable to start.
They are everything your single friends wish they had and they make the other long-term couples in your group want to “step their game up”. They are kind to each other, supportive, respectful, they get along well with your group of friends, and they are never-lacking with the PDA.
They are the couple that is generally pleasant to be around and you never have to worry about fighting or drama with them.
They have big plans for their future and are very serious about their commitment to each other.
Okay, by now you should be asking yourself “so what’s the catch, Mrs.Renai”?
I’ll tell you!
The catch is that this couple is usually this serious and deeply committed within their first 2-3 weeks of dating. Suddenly what was super cute and fun to watch becomes a little ridiculous.
Are they seriously talking about moving in together?
Are they getting couples tattoos?
Did they just adopt a dog?!
Do they make little hints and comments about their future wedding or future kids?
Excuse me but, ick! 🤮
Look, I believe in love at first sight and I have seen/heard about couples who, after being together only two weeks get married and stay married for 15+ years. The issue is that this type of whirlwind romance is usually the EXCEPTION and not the rule.
Most couples need time to really get to know each other before they decide on forever; they need to see what life together is really like before making these huge decisions.
This couple sucks because we all know it’s only a matter of time before they have that first fight or they learn things about each other they don’t like. Now, you’re helping your friend move for the 5th time in a single year and hoping that maybe next time they’ll pump the breaks and think things through.
Harsh? Maybe. But let’s not pretend like the whirlwind love-lives of our friends don’t come back to haunt us in one way or another.
You must let nature take it’s course, I suppose. 🤷🏾♀️
The Ones Who Baby Talk, Pet Name, Feed, etc.
Sure, talking to babies and pets in that overly saccharine, high-pitched voice is adorable. The babies giggle, the pets get excited, and you feel good about making them smile.
What isn’t so adorable?
When grown adults speak to each other in this manner. It makes us all cringe to even think about couples doing this with each other, let alone having to experience it in real time.
No lie, I once had dinner with a couple in college and the girlfriend made “Choo Choo” train noises when she fed her boyfriend a bite of her food. He wrinkled his nose up at her and said “yummy yummy” and she gave him a little kiss on the lips before turning back and talking to the rest of us like everything was normal.
I have nicknames for my husband and vice versa. When we first started dating, they were super cheesy and lame nicknames; based off of inside jokes that no one else could understand. So yeah, I get it. Pet names and cutesie crap just comes with the package.
I do not have any issue with the way people want to behave when they’re alone. Maybe the baby talk and feeding heals a type of parental trauma that the rest of us don’t completely understand?
I take issue/offense to subjecting people to this in public!
They have to know how awkward it is, right?!
The Ones Who Judge
I know this couple because I fear I used to be a part of this couple at one point in my life.
This couple has likely been in a long-term, stable, and (mostly) healthy relationship for as long as you can remember. However, despite all that they’ve learned and how much they’ve grown, they can’t seem to get enough of shaming and judging the relationships (or lack-thereof) of others!
You might notice that this couple is always on their single friends’ cases, offering unsolicited advice on what they’re doing wrong or why their relationships always fail.
They are super quick to point out the flaws in other couples and usually aren’t afraid to brag about their successes and achievements.
The real tea?
Everyone knows that this so-called “perfect” couple isn’t as amazing as they seem.
We all have our ups and downs and this couple tends to be “extra” about all of their ups and oddly silent about their downs.
I find that it helps to beat this couple at their own game and remind them that every relationship is different. This behavior is about insecurity and the couple’s need to protect their image.
Of course, they can be a real nightmare at times, but don’t be afraid to call them out when the judgment gets to be too much.
When you point a finger there are three pointing back at you!
(is that how that phrase goes?) 🤔
The Ones Who are Weirdly Close
There is a great episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall and Lilly try to make couple friends and are confused when it doesn’t seem to work out.
Over the course of the episode, you come to find out that they are scaring all their potential couple friends with their weird, deeply disturbing, habits.
Yes, this couple is great, happy, and largely drama-free, but some of the things they do together are just a little too close for comfort.
Maybe they share a toothbrush or maybe they use the bathroom together?
Have you ever seen a couple share an ice cream cone, lollipop, or piece of gum? (yes, that last one is a REAL example).
This is the couple that is fine to pop each other’s pimples, blow noses, and smell each other’s pits/breath to make sure it’s fresh!
While we will never understand and accept their ways, it’s best to just let it go and overt your eyes when they’re wrapped up in their strangeness.
They make us cringe, but at least we can appreciate that they are happy in their relationship and feel totally comfortable to be themselves with their partner.
(See, every cloud has a silver lining).
The Ones Who Beef Online (Cryptically)
Recently, my friends reminded me of one type of couple that we all love to hate!
You know this couple. One minute they are posting photos on Instagram of their date nights and shenanigans, and the next they are sending sub-tweets about how “love is a lie” and you “can’t trust these hoes”. 😂
Of course, you know when this couple is fighting because they just can’t help but share their sorrows on the web. What’s even more frustrating than all the crazy statuses, quotes, and sub-tweets is that they NEVER go into any juicy detail!
Look sis, if you want post your relationship woes on social media, at least tell me what your partner did so I can react/respond accordingly!
Why do the posts always have to be so cryptic?
Clearly, this couple is ordering attention hot ‘n’ ready like Little Caesar’s. But the second you give them what they crave, they sleek off into the shadows like nothing ever happened. They might even tell YOU to mind your own business
(The audacity…the nerve…the gall!)
Personally, I still find this type of couple entertaining AF. This is especially true when one (or both) of them take the time to delete their couple photos from their account, only to have to repost them again later when they make up.
With this couple, I say that you should just be satisfied with what little tea you get and keep it pushing. I mean, they always end up making up so there’s no point in getting bent out of shape.
Who knows? Maybe you can make their antics into a fun drinking game or a bet amongst your friends about what might be going on this time? Make the most of a crappy situation! Right?
So, what do we think? Are these couples cringe-worthy for you? Did I skip over any offenders? Are there some you don’t think should be on this list? Are you a part of any of these couples?
Let me know in the comments! I so love to hear your thoughts and stories.
Until next time,
Carry on wifeys & gents!
I’m going to be revamping my posting schedule and trying to go back to 3 posts a week instead of 2! Sound good? Well make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss out! 🙂 ❤
Be a lamb and tell your friends…