Wifeys + Gentlemen,

A friend of mine asked me an interesting question today.

Like me, he enjoys listening to various types of podcasts and, on his long commute home, he was listening to an episode I recommended about attachment style.

After listening, he asked me if I could define my relationship philosophy and if I thought it was different from relationship style.

I paused.

Although I am really intrigued by the question, I admit that it’s not something I’ve ever really thought much about.

When it comes to relationships…do we have a conscious understanding of our philosophy? Should we?

If we break it down, I suppose our relationship philosophy is simply the way we think about and approach our relationships from a theoretical, moral lens. It is made up of our experiences: our deal breakers, our willingness to make sacrifices and come to agreements, and the nature of the love we expect to give and/or receive from our partner(s).

Because of this, I believe that the relationship philosophy is different from relationship style.

I’m no expert (or am I? 🧐) but, in my view, style refers to the way we attach and show up in our relationships. While the philosophy can be our intention and foundation, our style ultimately dictates our behavior and the way we engage with and react to the people around us.

Sounds nuanced?

Probably!

But I can’t help but get caught up in the semantics from time to time.

It’s fascinating. 🤩

That being said, the deeper I tried to dive into this topic, the more confusing and convoluted it became. I went down a huge rabbit hole re: theories about mortality and virtue ethics, and my original notes for this post were literally 1000+ words long! [yes, just the notes]

In the spirit of trying NOT to overwhelm myself with overthinking…here’s where I land.

My relationship philosophy is simple. My character is worth more than my actions. I am more than the sum of my parts. I am better than my mistakes. I am bigger than my failures. I am forgiven for my humanity, especially at its ugliest; especially when I am hardest to love. As such, I intend to approach every relationship I am in with communication, compromise, and compassion.

• 🗣️ I will always communicate my feelings openly and honestly. I will speak my truth, even if I know it will hurt. I will communicate regardless of facts, feelings, or righteousness and do my best to acknowledge these pitfalls as they arise.
• 🧮 I will be willing to find a solution to problems, even problems outside of my control. I am open to renegotiating my actions and behaviors to support this concept.
• ❤️‍🔥 I will have compassion and empathy for my partners. I will approach them from a place of curiosity about who they are and what they know. I will hold space for them to be human and flawed, even at their ugliest. I will love them even when they seem hardest to love.

I’m gonna level with ya’ll….

this literally took me a full day to formulate and articulate (and I’m still not 100% certain I got it right).

Still, for my deep thinking wifeys who are bored on a Tuesday night, I suggest popping an edible (if you’re into that) and breaking out the journal! ✍🏾📓

What’s your relationship philosophy? Anyone brave enough to share in the comments?

Remember you are love and you are loved! 💖💖💖

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys + gents!

Love,

Ps. I owe ya’ll videos! They are recorded…but editing has been a bit of a struggle so hang with me! New podcast on the way this week, at the VERY least!

If you made it this far and like what you see…go ahead and SUBSCRIBE!