Resolved.

nyeHappy New Year!

Wifeys & Gentlemen we have made it to 2015 and I just have a feeling it’s going to be an amazing year. (Because, why not?)

Honestly, I have never believed much in “resolutions”. The “New Year, New Me” crowd always tends to rub me the wrong way, and I find myself becoming overly judgmental or hostile toward those I consider to be “fake”, the ones who continue to say all of the things they are going to do, but never actually commit to doing them. (cue eye-roll)

However, this year, I changed my mind. Simple as that. I recently realized that, in the year 2014, for all of the great things I’ve done, I didn’t actually do anything. Make no mistake, I am more than proud of the year I have had; another awesome year with my love, a permanent, full time position at a job I like (& have held for more than a year), more solid friendships with my SF family, a bigger savings account, and the list goes on. Still, not setting goals at the beginning of the year, I felt a certain lack of accountability for all of the things I meant to do, but didn’t get around to it. I had no one to keep me on track when I lost focus. I didn’t set the goal, and it allowed me not to care. Fundamentally, I didn’t have anyone to answer to, not even myself.

Maybe those “New Year, New Me” people aren’t complete idiots? She thought to herself.

Here they are, starting off their new year with a sense of hope and dedication, striving to be “new” and do better for themselves as time progresses. In the grand scheme, though I can’t agree with all of it, why would anyone pass up on a chance to make goals and feel a sense of hope for themselves? A new year, for whatever reason, makes us feel like starting over. Why judge when we can all use it as an excuse to make the most of whatever situation we are in and improve it over time?

Still, instead of a “new me” attitude, my goals will focus on maintaining the “me” I have spent so long creating. Frankly, I like the person I am today! I don’t want to change her, I just want to her to have something meaningful to strive for. You know?

Wifeys, you must forgive me for this post as I do not have much to say or advice to give about relationships today. Still, in everything we do, in every action we take, we (I believe) are writing our path and sealing our destiny. The goals you set today could be the difference in your life (love life included) tomorrow.

As such,  I want to encourage all of you to get out some paper (or your laptop) and make a list of real goals/resolutions for the year. Seriously, do it!

For my single wifeys and gents, if you are looking for love, make love a resolution for this year! Make a plan! What steps can you take to get closer to your goal? No, I don’t mean just writing down “find a boyfriend/girlfriend” on your list either! That isn’t enough! Make these goals mean something to you. Make them tangible. What if you decide to go on at least 10 dates this year instead? What if you bite the bullet and decide to try 3 months of online dating? What if you simply say that you are going to open your heart and mind to the possibility of love, and stop desperately seeking it out? What if you choose to spend this year forgetting about finding someone and commit to finding yourself?

Even if you are not single, think about the ways in which some new goals might help you be a better girlfriend or boyfriend to the one you love? Take it a step further if you are close and ASK your partner if there is anything you can do better or differently that you can begin working on now.

At the very least, if you are still not sold on the idea of a resolutions, try writing down the top 10 things you learned in 2014 (good and bad). How will those lessons help you be the best version of yourself this year? What can you take with you into 2015? What should you leave behind? How are these lessons getting you close to the life (and love) that you seek?

In the spirit of full disclosure and accountability, I am going to close this post with my resolutions for the year. A few weeks ago, I promised myself to this blog, and I believe that being accountable to all of you will be the best possible way to stay focused and make my dreams a reality. I am resolved.

  • Take a real vacation with my boyfriend. – This might seem simple but, although we have taken many lovely trips, he and I have not yet had the chance to truly travel somewhere beautiful and exotic together. This year, I am committed to putting aside the funds and making a nice, week-long vacation, a tangible opportunity for the end of the year.
  • Achieve optimal health for my age and body type. – I know we always see those obligatory “lose 50 pounds” goals that everyone has in the New Year, but this resolution is so much more than that. It’s bigger. This year I am determined to get everything back in good working order: my metabolism back to normal, my blood sugar continuing to be stable (neither too high nor too low), my liver functioning with no elevation, and my weight back to one that has me in a healthier range and a lower BMI. I do NOT want to be thin and losing a bunch of weight is not my focus. I want to be healthy. Period. & while I am not doing too bad, I know I can and will be better. This goal means so much to me this year.
  • Move into a new apartment with my man and my dog, adopt 2nd dog. – this one does not require as much explanation except that I am determined to be proactive about this until it is done. Ideally, this should be the goal that is easiest and quickest to complete. If I have my way, we will be moving in to a great new place in 4-8 weeks and I will convince the boy to be a proud new dog-dad for a cute little lady Frenchie by my birthday in May. Something like “this year babe, all I want for my b-day is a baby or a dog, you pick!” That’ll work, right? Hehe.
  • Get into a doctorate program for clinical psychology. – After much calculation, I feel as though I am wasting my time getting a master’s degree when I know I truly will want a doctorate. I’d like to teach, have a private practice, and perform research for my self-help books. Many clinical programs allow you to enter without having a master’s first, and I think this will be the best option for me moving forward. I’m trying to be 100% done with school by the time I am 32 years old. Whew!
  • Pay off all debts that are not student loans (and maybe even the student loans too). – Being honest, my credit is not where it should be for a responsible and hardworking girl of my age. While much of it is circumstances beyond my control, I am determined to pay off all non-student related debt (which is about $3500) by the years end. This means giving up some of my expensive vices, and making an even better plan to budget my paychecks and use my savings wisely.
  • Make my 1st million dollars. – Are you laughing? You should be! But this is not a joke. I do not know exactly how I am going to do it yet, but come 12/31/2015, I will have a million dollars in my bank account. This will go toward paying off debts for myself and a few loved ones, investing in a nice little house for my love & our furry friend(s), and not feeling guilty about spending 150K on an elaborate wedding (should I get engaged anytime in the next 363 days). 😉

Wifeys, thank you again for letting me detract from the usual relationship banter and be a bit more open about myself. What are some of your goals/resolutions for this year? Please do feel free to share!

Next week, we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming with some great topics including: sex with an ex, the “revolving door” syndrome, a few case studies, and our 1st  “couples spotlight” interview.

Until then,

Carry on Wifeys.

With Love,

Ms. Renai

🙂 ❤

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