Wifey’s & Gentlemen,
Happy Sunday! How was everyone’s weekend? I am still trying to recover from my very first business trip to Las Vegas last week!
Even though I didn’t have my traditional workload, I am shocked at how tired I am. Work conferences/conventions are mutha flipping exhausting! Now that I’ve started my new role, I am included in all of the sales events. Before anyone gets alarmed, I promise I’m not a sales rep, but this is my first time supporting sales executives, so it’s been quite the change of pace.
While I could bore you with all of the scintillating details about what I did on this trip, being there and having this new experience got me thinking alot about connections and the people I choose to surround myself with. In an environment where I walked in feeling awkward and out of place, by the second day, I was overwhelmed with inspiration about how I could start having more meaningful connections through shifting my attitude about the spaces I occupy and share with others.
I started thinking about the concept my tribe. Now before you roll your eyes at your girl, hear me out! I know “tribe” is a millennial buzzword being overused on Instagram these days, but believe me when I say there is really something so deeply important and soul filling about finding your people; those that inspire, feed, and uplift you in a way that keeps you open, positive, and connected to whatever worlds you choose to tap into and/or out of.
Finding our respective tribes is like networking for the soul; some connections will come more easily and effortlessly than others. Some connections are passing or seasonal. Some are long-lasting and core-shaking. & if I was to take anything away from the seminars and breakout sessions that I attended in Vegas, it’s that finding and being open to the notion of “your tribe” is a key element in the way we embrace our passions and reach our goals.
Are you guys still with me?
Let’s talk about how.
While I do think that the answers will shake out differently for everyone, here are some of my thoughts/tips or how to start opening yourself up to building your tribe. I can say with honesty that even experimenting with some of these changes on a minor scale has made me feel fantastic and more optimistic.
- Let go of your fear. – I have mild to moderate social anxiety and sometimes I feel like I am INCAPABLE of speaking to other people. I get so deep into my own head that I fool myself into thinking that everything I say sounds dumb. I make myself feel small by comparing myself to others and focusing on what I lack. This fear has no basis and therefore no business ruining my good time. While there is no simple fix to “snap out of” or “get over” the fears that hold us back, taking steps to learn how to let them go is a great start to finding people who feed our souls. Once we let go of the fear of rejection, we open ourselves up to positive and worthwhile connections.
- Start small & take it one step at a time. – Think about all of the people you see and interact with every single day. How many of those people do you really know? How many of them really know you? How many of them could be your new best friend, career mentor, work bestie, or a part of your next great romance? Strike up a convo with the people you see every day but haven’t had the chance to meet; coworkers, commuting buddies, baristas, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, grocery store clerks, etc…
- Be Yourself. – Period. Remember you are looking for YOUR people. How will your tribe know how to build you up and cheer you on if they don’t know who you really are? We all have flaws and aspects of our personality that we don’t like. That’s just a SMALL part of the person you are. Be authentically you and the right people, the people who will matter most, will find you.
- Let social media work for you. – While I do have some strong opinions on the inherent negativity and toxicity of social media, I am big enough to acknowledge its benefits when used for the right reasons. Social media is a great place to connect with people who think like you or share your interest. It’s a great place to follow inspiring people, learn skills, and put your passions and dreams out there.
- Go Out. Seriously. Just Go. – This is the advice I need to follow myself! How many times have you skipped out on happy hour with coworkers? Do you duck out early at the company Christmas party? Are you always the first to go home when your friends invite you to game night or house party? When was the last time you signed up for a masterclass or community event? Ever think about volunteering? What about a Google search of guest speakers coming to your area that you might want to see? Book clubs? The point is, leave your home and get out of your comfort zone from time to time.
- Constantly, and I do mean constantly, stay focused on positive self-talk, manifesting, and mindfulness. – You read that right. CON👏🏾STANT👏🏾 LY👏🏾! Self-love and positive thinking never takes a holiday. Our success is built on our ability to believe that anything in this life we want to have, build, or do starts with the belief that we can and will achieve it. Watch TedTalks on YouTube, read books by people who motivate you, listen to inspirational podcasts, buy a passion planner or bullet journal, do whatever it takes to change your mindset and keep it focused on loving you and living your best life! The brighter you shine, the easier it is for your tribe to spot you! 😉
Finally, one of the BEST ways to ensure that you are surrounding yourself with the people who will bring out the best in you, is to get rid of the ones who are bringing out the worst. Get rid of those toxic people who are no longer serving you. Walk away from those people who are causing you harm, dimming your light, and making you feel small. Think. Think really hard. Who in your life is sucking away your energy? Who in your life is telling you what you can’t or shouldn’t do? Who never cheers for you when the good things happen? Who relishes in your misfortune? Who CAN’T you turn to for support? Who makes you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t be yourself?
Try to remember that this journey is ongoing and everchanging. As we grow into the people we want to be, our tribal needs will grow with us. It’s never easy to let go and move forward (I struggle with this more than most), but the reward is outstanding when we finally grit our teeth and do it!
I am so grateful to have an amazing tribe of loved ones that motivate me to keep going.
I am even more grateful for the new tools and inspiration I’ve been given to expand this tribe and welcome the thousands upon thousands of people who’ll have an impact on me in decades to come (which includes all my wifeys & gents, of course). 😉
What do you guys think? Do you feel like you have a tribe? Do you think the whole “tribe” idea is stupid? Did I leave anything off this list?
Until Next Time!
Carry On Wifeys & Gents,