Wifeys & Gentlemen,
First off, I want to say that I am SO SORRY. I had every intention to film a video this weekend, but I ended up being a little too sick and just couldn’t pull it together.
Trust me, it’s all for the best. I look an absolute mess this weekend and no amount of makeup and lip gloss could have made me camera ready!
I think I’m starting to feel a little better now, so we’re going to aim for a video blog next weekend, okay?
Still, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a chat about HOW to set relationship goals as a couple. Right? Sick or not, Mrs. Renai always has your back!
Even if she makes you read from time to time…
Earlier this week, I laid out some great examples of the types of goals you and your partner might want to set in order to have a stronger, healthier relationship. Today, we’re going to break down my 5 simple steps that will help you take those goals and put them into action!
Now, for most of you, this might not be particularly revolutionary. Setting and achieving goals as a couple is a lot like setting and achieving goals by yourself. We’ve already covered step one, but as a mini refresher:
Step One: Spend time talking about your relationship.
Ask each other:
- What’s working well?
- What could be better?
- Is there anything we’d like to add or new things we’d like to try?
Remember: this part is supposed to be FUN and can really help you and your love get even closer. Whatever you do, don’t let this turn into a fight! You’re not there to accuse each other of anything or rehash old arguments in a non-productive way! Speak to each other in a way that is loving and respectful. Both of you should be in a place where you’re willing to keep an open mind and hear each other out.
Step Two: Use your answers to these questions to pick a handful of goals that you’d like to achieve.
Pro Tip: Organize these goals by priority and see if you can identify which goals are short-term and which goals are long-term or ongoing.
Try not to do too much too soon. I’d suggest sticking to no more than 2-5 goals at a time.
If you do find that you and your partner have BIG dreams and there are 20+ goals you’d like to achieve, really focus on ranking them by priority and try to achieve them in small groups/chunks.
You’ve got time! There is no rush 😉
Unless your goal is to save for a wedding or something, then there might be a time factor, but still…don’t put too much pressure on this! Baby steps.
Step Three: Break down each goal into specific action items.
Ask each other:
- What do I need to do to achieve this goal?
- What does my partner need to do to achieve this goal?
- How long? How often?
Remember that each goal should have some kind of end game, even if it seems intangible.
For example, if one of your goals is to rebuild broken trust in your relationship, your end game might be that you and your partner want to feel at ease when you each go out separately with friends.
How do you achieve that?
Well…while I do have some ideas, everyone’s relationship is different. Only you and your partner will know how far each of you needs to go to feel safe and secure again.
Additionally: Each of you should feel like you have a stake in this goal, tangible or not.
I highly recommend thinking about your daily, weekly, and monthly steps as needed.
Step Four: Pre-Plan check points where you will follow up on your progress.
How often will you check in?
This will vary depending on the goal.
Sometimes these check ins will be long-lasting. If trust is an issue you’d like to work on, you’ll want to make sure you and your partner feel safe and comfortable together. Check in on each other for as long as it takes; until you don’t second guess each other anymore.
Sometimes these check-ins will be fixed. If saving money or moving in together in your end game, there should be a fixed timeline or deadline for when you’d like to see certain steps happen.
Step Five: Tweak, Tweak, Tweak
After you’ve had a check in, be sure to make adjustments to your goal if things aren’t going well. On the flip side, if you’re killing it, maybe you’ve crushed your goal sooner than you thought? It’s time to take another goal from the list and repeat steps 3-5!
See? I told you! Setting goals with your significant other is much easier than you thought, right?!
Would any of you be interested in a downloadable worksheet that reviews these steps and allows you space to outline with your partner? If so, give this post a like and/or let me know in the comments and I’d be HAPPY to make it happen!
Seriously…I love doing that kind of stuff, and I’d be happy to share a sample of what my own planner looks like with you all. ❤
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Also…please pray that I recover and can crank out a new video for you all next week!
Until Next Time,
Carry on Wifeys & Gents!
Be a lamb and tell your friends…🐑🐑🐑…