Wifeys & Gentlemen,
How was everyone’s Valentine’s Day weekend? I am so thankful that I was able to enjoy a nice, long weekend and spend time with all of the people on my list; my hubby, my friends, and myself. While I didn’t do anything super elaborate or crazy, it was AMAZING to connect with people, rest, and relax.
What did you guys get up to? Did you do anything fancy or did you keep things mellow this year?
Now that the weekend has come to a close, I wanted to spend some time talking about “the one”. Valentine’s Day has a funny way of making us think about soulmates. Maybe it’s the month of February? Cuffing season, while still in full effect, is coming to a close. It’s a short month and things move so fast. If you’re in a relationship, it’s perfectly normal to begin thinking about the future (even in the early stages). If you’re a person who doesn’t believe in soulmates, you might still be wondering if the person you’re seeing/dating/talking to could turn into something bigger.
It might be frustrating to hear, but the best way to know if someone is the right one for you is using your own intuition.
What is your heart telling you?
What is your mind telling you?
Of course, if that just isn’t good enough (I know I question my intuition sometimes), here are a few other signs that you might be with your forever someone.
- You can be yourself around them: sure, we all do our best to seem “cool” and completely sane when starting a new relationship, but with this person, you feel okay with being 100% yourself, flaws and all. They don’t make you feel judged or unlovable because of your quirks. In fact, they kind of like the crazier side of you.
- You trust each other without doubt or questions: you never feel the need to check their phone, you know it’s okay if they find someone else attractive, they keep your secrets, and you keep theirs. You know that they have your best interest at heart and you genuinely believe that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.
- They support you unconditionally: Thinking about changing careers? Want to take up a new hobby? Finally ready to start that fitness routine? This person supports you in everything you do! They never try to crush your dreams and are there to cheer you on when you’re ready to try something new. They motivate you to keep going because your success means the world to them. More importantly, they comfort you and love you when things don’t work out exactly as planned.
- You have shared values and a shared vision for the future: You find that you both want the same things and are working toward the same goals. This looks different from relationship to relationship, but it’s awesome when you have someone who is on the same page as you and wants to build a life with you.
- You fight fairly and know how to apologize (communication): This is HUGE! It’s okay to fight. It’s okay to say the wrong thing or take out your bad mood on your partner from time to time (we’re human, we make mistakes). What makes a good relationship is knowing how to apologize for your wrongdoings. It’s knowing when and how to tell each other when you’re unhappy, scared, sad, or anxious. It’s knowing when and how to tell each other that you are hurting. Disagreements will happen. Does this person fight fairly with you? Do they avoid making unnecessarily hurtful comments or low blows just because they’re angry? Good. Ya’ll might be onto something. 😉
- They make you feel good about yourself: Your partner can’t heal every trauma you’ve ever had or take all of your pain away. It’s really unfair to expect that from them. Still, what they can (& should) do is remind you of how amazing you are, even in the darkest times. Your partner should be the one to see you. They should be the one to let you know (in whatever way they can) that you are valuable and worthy. Of course, we all need to find and have that for ourselves! But our partner is a reflection of this truth.
- They treat you with kindness and respect: Your version of kind and respectful might be different from mine, but we ALL have either seen or experienced relationships where there is no kindness or respect. If you and your partner can’t be kind to each other, if you can’t maintain a level of respect for each other’s desires, boundaries, and limitations…this is likely NOT the right relationship for you. Be with someone who treats you nicely and respects your thoughts/feelings.
- Other people in your life notice your connection: Of course, this isn’t everything, but if your friends and family notice how this person brings out the best in you, you might be a little closer to figuring out if they are “the one”. The people we love want what is best for us and can see when we are at our happiest or changing/growing for the better. Does this person bring out the best in you in a way the your loved ones have noticed? Is your skin looking fresh and your beauty just as radiant as ever?!…if so, Wifeys & Gents, this might just be the one! ❤
- You feel like you’ve known each other for a long time: It’s hard to explain it, but after only a few short months of knowing my husband, I felt like I knew him deeply. No, this isn’t just random facts about him like his favorite tv show or worst childhood memory. It’s knowing the essence of him and who he is. Do you feel like you and your partner just “get” each other. Does it seem like, even after a short amount of time, you just fell into sync? Again, it’s hard to pinpoint, but this is usually a sign that your relationship is onto something great.
- This relationship feels different than any other one you’ve ever been in: Like #9, this one can also be a little tougher to pinpoint. Still, if you think about the other relationships you’ve been in and you notice that this one is unlike any other, it is likely a good sign that you are getting closer to finding the right one for you.
Of course, there are lots of other ways to figure out if someone is the right person for you. We are all so unique and every relationship is different, so don’t see this list as a “one size fits all”. However, I will caution that if you feel like you don’t have a majority of these elements in your relationship, do some reflection. Get in touch with your intuition and ask yourself if you’re truly happy with this person. Do you feel left out or like something is lacking? Be honest with yourself before taking things too far.
Knowing when to walk away from a relationship that isn’t serving you (another blog for another time) is all a part of the journey to finding the one.
Tell me, what are some ways that you knew your partner was right for you? Are you still on the search? How do you think you’ll know when you find them?
Let me know in the comments!
We’ll see you tomorrow for a brand new podcast episode & some fun content for the week ahead.
Until next time,
Carry on Wifeys & Gents!