Wifeys & Gentlemen,
Now that cuffing season is just about over and spring is in the air, you might be feeling ready to get up and get out! There is something about the warm weather that makes us want to connect and mingle.
For some of us, this is a little easier than for others. 🤷🏾♀️
If you’re anything like me, for example, you’re a healthy mix of confident and shy. While it isn’t impossible, it takes a lot for me to get myself into a place where I’m comfortable enough to “shoot my shot”.
For those who do not know, shooting your shot is a phrase the ‘younger generations’ have been using to talk about taking matters into their own hands and going after what they want. Typically, they use the phrase when referencing a crush or love interest; finding the courage to ask them out or ask them to take their relationship to the next level.
*I feel like I sound so old typing this! 👵🏾
So, how does someone do that?
As I mentioned, for some of you out there, asking someone out is easy. However, I know there are many of you who might be confused about where to start. Maybe you overthink things or worry about looking stupid in front of someone you like? Maybe you’re friends with your crush and are worried about ruining your existing relationship?
If there is anything I have learned over the years, it’s that finding new love is often about confidence. It’s the way we feel about ourselves that gives us the strength 💪🏾 to go after the things we want, even if there is a chance for a negative outcome.
My tips for shooting your shot are NOT guaranteed to make your crush fall for you. In fact, many of these tips take practice and might not work out so well the first few times you try them. But if you’re consistent and stay focused on building your confidence and believing in what you deserve, I promise good things are around the corner. 🙂 ❤
1. Make sure you know what you want. The last thing you want to do is waste someone’s time. Speaking your mind is sexy. If you want to go out on a date, say so. Don’t try to sugar coat it or downplay it to make rejection seem like “no big deal”. Believe me, being denied hurts just as much whether you ask someone one a date or ask them to “hang out sometime”.
2. Make sure you know why you want to shoot. Just like you don’t want to waste your crush’s time, make sure you’re not wasting YOUR OWN time either. Are you really ready to date? Do you really want this person’s phone number? Are you willing to take this friendship to a romantic level and put in the work to make it possible? If the answer is no, don’t do it! Plain and simple.
3. Have a plan for how you’d like to take this shot. You don’t have to write out a whole speech. Please, don’t over think it! But it’s nice to have an idea of how you’d like to approach this conversation. Try your best to be yourself and make your words authentic, but have a plan of attack, especially if you know this person and understand their preferences.
4. Be prepared to hear “no” and ask yourself how you’ll handle rejection. Being rejected is hard. It hurts our pride and our feelings. Sometimes, it makes us feel like something is wrong with us or that we are unworthy or unlovable. Please try to remember that this is NOT true. Confident people know that someone who doesn’t want to date them is missing out on a real catch. But it’s okay! They are just making room for the person who is right for you. Do not make a scene or compromise your sanity over someone who doesn’t want you. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who is just as excited to get you know you and build something with you as you are with them. Be patient and be confident enough to let your crush walk away.
5. Take action. Once you know what you want, have a plan of action, and feel ready to accept rejection (should it happen), it’s time to actually shoot that shot! Don’t be scared. It’s your time and no matter the outcome, you should be proud of yourself for getting out there and trying.
Finding love isn’t always easy, but for my single wifeys and gents, I really hope you have the self-confidence and will power to take some chances and see what might happen.
Is there anything you’d add to this list? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received about shooting your shot? Is this something you avoid entirely?
Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,
Carry on Wifeys & Gents!
Be a lamb and tell your friends…🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…🐑🐑🐑…