Wifeys & Gentlemen,

I know I’ve directed my last few posts to my multi-dating hotties + while I’ve got a lot more to say on that subject in the coming weeks, I wanted to throw something a little more general your way!

Regardless of whether you decide to date multiple people or focus only on one, everyone has to get through that FIRST date. Right?

I know, I know…but it’s a necessary evil that we all must get through, so we might as well make the best of it!

A lot of ya’ll likely HATE first dates. Hell, I used to be one of you.

But recently, I have learned that there is such unique type fun and excitement that can come from meeting someone for the first time.

Whether it’s time to take that Tinder match out for a quick coffee or finally giving in and meeting that “nice girl” your married friend set you up, these initial connections can be nerve-wrecking and filled with uncertainty.

Don’t worry, Mrs. Renai has got your back! Here are my top tips for nailing a first date and securing a second (if you want one).

1. Dress to impress. Even if your date is casual (a walk in the park, a coffee date) you want to look and feel your best. Put some effort into your outfit and overall appearance. Make sure it’s something that makes you feel confident and sexy. This is way more about YOU and how you feel about yourself than trying to look good for someone else but the latter doesn’t hurt, right?
2. Be confident. Remember that you’re a catch who deserves the best! Loving yourself does NOT mean you have to be cocky or arrogant. Showing up on a first date knowing your worth signals to your date that you know what you want and won’t settle for anything less.
3. Keep it fun and light. On that note, nobody wants to go on a first date and feel like they’re being judged, rated, or interrogated. Keep the conversation light and easy to start. Sometimes the vibe with someone is so good that you end up sharing more than you thought. This is FINE but make sure you’re feeling out your date and reading their signs. Ask the fun “getting to know you” questions where you can interject humor and flirtations.
4. Be present. It’s easy to get caught up in your own head on a first date. As a professional over thinker, I relate to this concept ALL TO WELL! Listen to what your date is saying, make eye contact, and show that you’re interested in getting to know them. Also, it might be an unpopular take, but I don’t think it’s rude to check your phone periodically on a date! Just make sure it’s “periodically” and not rude or isolating. I once had a guy take a 20 min phone call in the middle of our date! It was CRAZY.
5. Don’t be afraid to use touch. Touch is a powerful tool when it comes to attraction, so use it. A gentle touch on the arm or shoulder can go a long way in creating a connection. Please avoid touching someone’s leg unless you are reading VERY clear signals that this is okay, otherwise it’s considered forward a little creepy.
6. Be flirty. There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting on a first date. Compliment your date, laugh at their jokes, and don’t be afraid to show a little bit of your playful side.
7. Most importantly, be yourself. It’s cliche, but it’s true: the best thing you can do on a first date is be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your date, because ultimately, that’s not sustainable or fair. Remember confidence? You are a catch! You are enough exactly as you are. If your date doesn’t like you, there are PLENTY of others who will. Move onto the next if you can’t feel comfortable coming as you are.
8. End on a high note. When the date is coming to an end, make sure you close it in a way that shows your intentions. A sweet hug or a kiss can be the perfect way to leave your date wanting more. You can also say something like “I look forwarding to seeing you again soon” to make sure they know you’re interested and had a good time.

Side note: I usually like to send a follow up text after a date ends to let them know I had a good time (and that I made it home in one piece).

So there you have it, babes: 8 tips on how to slay a first date.

Remember to be confident, be yourself, and most importantly, have fun.

Good luck, and may the dating odds be ever in your favor!

Remember you are love and you are loved! 💖💖💖

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys + gents!

Love, 

See you for a new podcast episode on Tuesday and a new video on Friday!

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