Doing Me, Respecting We.

Wifey’s & Gentlemen,

As I’ve said before, self-care is so important. This year I want to spend more time highlighting its value on this blog. This month, since we’re talking about goal setting, reflection, and being our best selves, I wanted to touch briefly on why it is MAJOR, CRITICAL, & IMPERATIVE (yep, 3 words, all caps) to have “me time”.

First of all, even if you’re “self-partnered”, I guarantee that you can benefit from regularly scheduled “me time”. In today’s world, we are all scrambling to make time for our busy lives. We have jobs, we have friends, we have family commitments, we have pets, we have bills and debts, we have to think about our health and wellness, and we have Instagram posts/stories to constantly update! With that, the value of having time for yourself is immeasurable and invaluable to your own growth.

Sure, this is especially true and important when you add a relationship into the mix, but for my single readers, don’t get too hung up on that right now! Learning how to make & take your own “me time” is a good habit to have regardless of your romantic status. Here’s why:

You learn to listen to yourself and really hear your “self-talk”: This is especially important if your self-talk is negative. Being alone with your thoughts gives you the space to focus on how you speak to and feel about yourself.
You get to know who you are and what you like on your own terms: How will anyone be able to get to know you if you don’t really know yourself?
You become less dependent on others (less afraid to be alone): I hear so many people say they hate to be alone and will often stay in toxic friendships or romantic relationships because they don’t want to be by themselves. You overcome this fear by actually spending time with yourself, doing things you love.
You realize there is no such thing as lonely: Okay, it’s definitely normal to feel lonely sometimes. We all have our moments. Still, per the aforementioned point, it’s really hard to be ‘lonely’ when you enjoy the pleasure of your own company.

Having this foundation becomes crucial when sharing yourself with a significant other. If you walk into a relationship knowing who you are, what you like/dislike, and that you alone are enough/worthy, you’re much less likely to relax your boundaries when it comes to love. Even if you’re already in a relationship, making space for being an individual does NOT mean you are trying to escape from or avoid your relationship.

My husband is my bestie (yes, I have other besties, but you know what I mean).

I spend most of my time with him, we hang out every day (in some capacity). This, my loves, is all the more reason to make “me time” a priority. Remember that “me time” doesn’t and shouldn’t disrespect or detract from “we time”. If you’re using this time to ignore your partner, blow off important conversations, or engage in activities that will damage the integrity of your union, we’ve got some other issues we need to talk about! 😖

The good news is, even if you aren’t already in a habit of having me time, it’s really easy to get started.

How, you ask?

JUST DO IT! (Not sponsored by Nike 😉)

Seriously, your private/personal time needs to be as high on your priority list as date night with your partner or attending a work party or event. Put it in your calendar/planner and commit to sticking with it!

Start small if you have to, but the goal is to make “me time” at the very least, a monthly practice. If you live with your significant other, this idea might seem more challenging, but that’s still no excuse, friend!

Here’s a quick list of ways you can start to implement “me time” right now!

Workout by yourself
Take a walk (be safe)
Spend 30-45 minutes reading your favorite book
Binge watch a new show (one where you don’t have to wait for your partner before starting a new episode)
Put in your headphones and listen to music/podcast/audio book
Take a long bubble bath
See a movie you know your partner wouldn’t want to see
Take a long drive
Start a new hobby or take a class
Do some window shopping (or actual shopping if it’s in the budget)
Write in a journal

Me time is time for you to reconnect with yourself and be the best partner you can be. How many other examples can you think of? Do you have a “go to” for how you like to spend your me time?

One thing on my bucket list is to take a solo vacation. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to take a little weekend getaway alone. Has anyone ever done this?!

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