Wifeys & Gentlemen,
Let’s take a break from talking about soulmates for a moment and focus on my single or casually dating readers!
I promise, I’m here for everyone! 😉
While many of you are likely familiar with the term cuffing season (what it is, how it works, etc,,), I regularly find myself digging deep into this subject.
Is there a right way to go about doing this?
Are those who participate just assholes?
Believe it or not, there is actually some sound psychology behind the mysteries of this modern dating ritual and since it’s about to come to an end (March 20th marks the official end date), I figured we could unpack the merits of this practice together!
What is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing season is an event that many of us will experience at some point in our lives (whether intentionally is another story). It relates to a certain time of year (usually starting around Halloween and ending in the spring) where singles feel particularly galvanized to be in a relationship or get themselves “booed up”.
It is a proven fact that as temperatures drop and the holiday season sets in, the amount of couples has a tendency to rise. So, if you’ve ever wondered why there’s ALWAYS someone new at your Thanksgiving dinner table, you might have cuffing season to blame.
Okay, but Why Would Anyone Do This?
Some theorize that it’s the holiday season that makes us feel more open, loving, and generous. We get into the spirit of sharing and decide that we want to start sharing ourselves with someone special.
While this is a nice sentiment, I believe that it’s a little less ‘peachy’ than that. The holidays come with an unnecessary level of pressure to be in love. We see it in movies and tv shows, we’re constantly fed images of lovers enjoying the holidays in media and advertisiting, and what’s worse, our families and friends contribute to feelings of inadequacy if we aren’t coupled up.
Moreover, there is something about the colder weather that inspires us seek warmth. This is both literal and metaphorical. Having a companion makes you feel safe, comforted, and physically warm. It’s no wonder that people gravitate towards relationship when the weather outside is frightful!
Snuggles and cuddles are one of the best cures for the winter blues.
As the days are colder, shorter, and drearier, many of us will use the comfort of others to self-medicate. People don’t spend as much time outside socializing. Instead, we focus on getting out of the cold and heading back into our homes. Having a special someone means that the socializing can come to you.
Should Singles Participate? Should I?
This all really depends on the type of person you are and the kind of relationship you’re looking for. While the idea of cuffing season might sound romantic and appealing, there are some things to consider before jumping in head-first.
Are you looking for a long-term relationship? If so, psychologists suggest being very wary of starting a new relationship during cuffing season. It’s similar to being involved in a summer romance; most of these relationships have an expiration date. Moreover, not everyone has your best interests at heart. There are some people who specifically look for F*** buddies during cuffing season; stringing them along and making them think a relationship is blooming only to be left lonely and confused when March hits.
Genuine relationships take time to develop. If you’re someone who is really looking for the real deal, then remember to take your time with cuffing season. Avoid jumping into anything too fast and really try to get to know the person whose trying to cuff you.
However, if you aren’t too worried about finding someone long-term, or you’re a little more of a “whatever happens, happens” type, I personally believe that cuffing season can be a fun, positive way to date and discover more about who you are and what you’re looking for.
Please be responsible.
No, I don’t just mean sexually (although that’s really important, too). We don’t want any surprise cuffing season babies popping up, right?
I mean be responsible with your heart and the hearts of others. If you know someone is falling for you and you’re only interested in a fun winter fling, be upfront about your intentions are your feelings. Be willing to let someone go if they want more than you’re willing to give. Don’t be the asshole who strings someone along because you need a date to your family Christmas party or an upcoming wedding.
It’s not a good look. At all.
On the flip side, if you find yourself falling in love with someone during this season, make sure you understand where their head is and what they want. Be on the lookout for red flags and ask questions to make sure you know where you stand.
It is totally possible to start a relationship and find love in the winter months. But please, be cautious! Know about cuffing season and manage your expectations accordingly.
Thoughts? Anyone have any cuffing season horror stories they’d like to share? Anyone end up meeting the love of their life during cuffing season? Is there anyone out there whose never ever heard of this and thinks I’m full of crap?
Let me know in the comments!
Have a wonderful, wonderful Sunday my loves! I’m going to do some much needed pampering and try to forget about work until Monday morning. (Anyone else get “day before work” anxiety, because I DO!!)
Until next time,
Carry on Wifeys & Gents!
Let’s get social!