Missing Again.

Wifeys & Gentlemen,

I know I’ve been MIA for the past week or so, and while I want to apologize for that, reflection has reminded me that I do not need to apologize for taking the time I need to process and feel my ever-changing feelings. Posting new content just hasn’t felt right for me. For some, working and creating helps to heal. Although I wish I were, I’ve never really been that girl. I don’t have the emotional fortitude to record or write or research.

Nothing I have produced for this blog feels good enough right now. Nothing feels appropriate.

It’s funny but, I walked into Monday (today) with determination to “turn it around” and “push through” my feelings to get my content back on track, but when I woke up this morning, I realized that I am just not ready. I am heavy with sadness and unrest. I am torn and guilty. I feel frozen and on fire all at once. I am scared for the world my little girl will be born into, while needing to be optimistic about what I can do to make sure she is ready to change it.

Mediation and conversations with my loved ones has lead me to understand that this is normal. What I am feeling is symptomatic of needing more time to process and find my voice.

In light of the racial tensions taking place in our nation, I am going to take another, bigger, more conscious step back from posting. As I said, it just doesn’t feel right to me this week. Nothing I put out would be authentic or genuine in a moment where all I feel is hurt, stuck, and confused.

I urge you to use the week doing whatever self-care you might need. Spend time finding your voice if it is stifled or stunned. Figure out how you can be the change you’d like to see in this world and really really do it. Read more. Talk more. Educate when and where you can. Be educated. Listen. Connect.

& most importantly, LOVE each other <3.

Remember that my life and the lives of people who look like me matter just as much as anyone else’s. Remember that even when people do “bad” things, the punishment should fit the crime (& last I checked, forged bills, stealing, etc do not typically merit a death sentence). Remember that you want to leave behind a better world for your children and loved ones. Celebrate black joy. Love black people as much as you love black culture. Stand up for us with the knowledge that you are ultimately standing up for yourself. Say enough is enough.

and in case there was ever any confusion….

I will check back in next week, both with you guys and with myself. Please be safe. Be smart. & use your voices to make this world the kind of place we all would be proud to live in; the kind of place your family and your children deserve!

Until Next time,

Carry on Wifeys & Gents!

Love, Change, & Light,

I am always always here if you want to connect with me or share your thoughts. Please just remember to be respectful and kind.

Kindness over everything!

Also…please please please DO NOT let all of this chaos let you forget that the pandemic isn’t over. Wear your masks, gloves, and continue to practice as much social distancing as you can, even if you plan to protest or march. I love you, even if you hate me, and no one deserves to die or lose family members in any circumstance. ❤

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