Being Present In Love

Wifeys & Gentlemen,

I know we are not out of the woods yet when it comes to ending this pandemic nightmare, but I am so hopeful about the progress being made. My cautious optimism is actually allowing me to conceive of a world where we all get to take little summer vacations and I get to throw a ((modestly attended)) party for my daughter’s first birthday! *fingers crossed*.

Recently, I’ve heard more than a few people say that there are things about being in quarantine that will be sorely missed.

As much as I am hopeful for a change, I can admit, I get it.

Sooner or later many of us will be commuting back and forth to the office again. Our dogs and cats will have to re-learn how to be alone 8+ hours a day.

Our kids will go back to school and/or daycare.

The time to make your own lunch or catch a midday snooze is almost up; it’s a pretty big loss.

While I know there are a fair share of relationships that deteriorated as a result of this “newfound closeness”, I would argue that there are more than a few couples that will be sad to see it end.

Maybe some of us thrived during this weird ass time? Maybe we became even closer than before?

Okay, if that sounds like you…I bet you’re wondering “now what”?

What happens when the daily grind comes back to bite us? How do we stay connected and close to our significant others when our time is going to, once again, become scarce, limited, and spread too thin?

We talk a lot about mindfulness on this blog (I know) but when you get down to it, many of the things we fear growing apart from can be maintained through mindfulness and intention. These two principles help us maintain closeness by learning how to be in and truly enjoy the present moment.

Here are my top tips for practicing mindfulness and presence with your partner:

Hold Hands More Often.

Did you know that holding hands gives you boosts of serotonin? It can help calm anxiety, soothe aches and pains, and aid in stress reduction. It also works to strengthen bonds in relationships. Make a point to hold your partners hand as often as you can. It’s the easiest way to solidify intimacy in a subtle, impactful way.

Set New Boundaries, Create New Habits.

If you feel like apps, games, and social media are having an impact on how you connect with your partner, try setting some ground rules for screen time. Make it a point to have time together without phones, tablets, and computers (TV doesn’t count unless you’re not watching together or believe it’s too distracting).

For example, Mr.B and I try not come into the house with our headphones on. We do our best to make sure that we come home ready to say hello to each other and touch base about how the day went. Create new routines that make more space for conversation and quality time; this helps you stay “in the know” with each others current feelings and ideas.

Cuddle.

Yeah sex is cool, but have you ever spent a night cuddling in your lovers arms? Have you fallen asleep on the couch with your partner’s head in your lap? Cuddling gives you and your love a sense of security and closeness in your relationship.

Not into cuddling? Don’t worry! For those of us who might not enjoy the touchy feelies, sitting in close proximity to someone you love can also invoke feelings of security and calm.

Talk About Sex.

Sex is a great way to build and maintain intimacy with your partner, but the benefits only work if everyone is enjoying themselves! Allowing yourself to feel comfortable and relaxed enough around your partner to speak openly about sex means that both of you can share your likes, dislikes, and fantasies. Communication is the key to a great sex life and will only deepen your connection.

Get A New Hobby.

Find something new for you both to get into together. This can be something active like working out or hiking, it can be reading the same book or watching the same tv show, you can do something completely unique like glass blowing or candle making, or you can start cooking “unique” meals/ordering strange takeout together! Whatever floats your boat, make sure it’s something you both can stick with for a while. Sharing interests allows you to be focused on the same goals and engaging with each other in the moment.

Ask Big Questions, Listen Actively.

It might seem dumb, but hear me out: when was the last time you asked your partner a heady, meta, thought-provoking, and/or open-ended question and listened attentively to the answer? There are TONS of articles and graphics on Pinterest that offer great ideas for questions, prompts, and conversation starters you can share with your partner.

While you don’t need to have deep conversations every single day, I can’t think of a better way to be present with your partner than to spend time listening to their inner thoughts and feelings.

What do you guys think? Is there anything you like to do to stay in the moment with your love? Let me know in the comments! I can always learn something new from you guys <3.

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys & gents!

Love,

See you back here this weekend! Feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss me…friendly reminders never hurt! 😉

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Remember sharing is caring…don’t hurt the lamb’s feelings and forget to tell your friends.

Photo by Brigitte Tohm from Pexels

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