Wifeys + Gentlemen,
By the time this post gets to you, it’ll be Sunday morning, April 30th!
Sadly, this post was supposed to go up on Monday 4/24/23…but there was an issue with my scheduling app + I (being the trusting bitch that I am) didn’t think to double check! Here I am thinking you got this article already…and nope! It’s a whole week late!
So here I am, home on a Saturday night, editing this to make sense a week later!
That has to count for something, right?
I appreciate the positive response I have gotten from my previous blog post about dating multiple people! I want to keep that momentum going by letting you all in on a little secret when it comes to simultaneous dating.
It doesn’t have to be overwhelming and you DON’T have to burnout.
Look, I’m not going to lie to you! It’s a juggling act.
+ let’s be real, it’s not for everyone.
But if you’re someone who’s up for the challenge, then you need to know about one key ingredient to making it work: boundaries.
Those pesky little lines that you forbid people to cross. The areas you don’t play about. I know it can feel like we are always talking about boundaries. But no cap, they are crucial in any relationship!
Put it to you like this… when you’re seeing multiple people, you’re bound to encounter a range of personalities, interests, and expectations. Some people may be cool with a casual fling, while others might be looking for something more serious. Some may be fine with non-exclusive dating, while others might want all of your attention.
The beauty of having a “roster” and dating around is that YOU get to decide what you’re comfortable with and YOU get to communicate those boundaries clearly to anyone you’re giving your time to.
I’ll level with you, it might be awkward to have these conversations, and it sucks to do it multiple times, but trust me when I tell you that it’s better to get it out of the way early on than to deal with drama down the line.
Still not convinced?
Baby are you new here?!
You know you can’t come onto this blog and NOT hear Mrs. Renai ranting about boundaries and communication.
It helps avoid any confusion or misunderstandings. It’s not fair to expect someone to read your mind, and if you’re not clear about what you want, you could end up hurting someone unintentionally.
Worse…you can get your own feelings hurt!
Let us not forget that setting boundaries shows that you respect yourself and your own needs. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to compromise your own values or desires just to make someone else happy.
If you run into someone who has problems with your boundaries and limits, take this as a sign that they likely aren’t the best person for you to be dating.
Need some tips?
- Be clear about your intentions: Are you looking for something casual or something more serious? Do you want to keep things strictly physical or are you open to emotional connections as well? Letting your partners know where you stand is vital!
- Know your limits: Just because you’re dating multiple people doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything. It’s okay to have deal-breakers and to set boundaries around what you’re comfortable with.
- Communicate openly and honestly: No one can read your mind, so if you’re feeling uncomfortable or if something isn’t working for you, speak up. It’s better to address issues as they come up than to let them fester and potentially blow up later on.
- Don’t make assumptions: Just because you’re dating multiple people doesn’t mean they are too. Talk about it!
- Be respectful of everyone’s time and feelings: Dating multiple people can be time-consuming and emotionally draining, but it’s important to be mindful of everyone’s time and feelings. Don’t double-book dates or cancel plans at the last minute (if you can help it, at least).
The possibilities are endless. It’s up to you to decide what works for you and communicate that clearly.
On the real real…if you’re going to date multiple people, setting boundaries is essential and required. Seriously, sis. This is a NON-NEGOTIABLE! It may not be the sexiest topic, but it’s a MUST for keeping things cute, respectful, and blessed 😇 .
Don’t be afraid to speak up and let people know what you want and need.
After all, you’re worth it.
Remember you are love and you are loved! 💖💖💖
Until next time,
Carry on wifeys + gents!
See you for a new podcast episode on Tuesday and a new video on Friday!
If you made it this far and like what you see…go ahead and SUBSCRIBE!